Buzz Shock

Submitted by: Facebook via Submission Page

Looking at this tattoo is kind of like hearing a punch line without having heard the joke that preceded it. “No, no, I said ‘horse PIANIST.’” Or “He doesn’t know that one, but maybe if you hum a few bars?” Or “So then the rabbi says, ‘There’s no such thing as kosher foie gras. Hey, what happened to my bunion cream?’”

Submitted by: deviantart via Submission Page photo thanks to Come learn with us

This piece was done by Roget Peekytoe of Elko, Nevada, the world’s foremost tattoo artist specializing in both pet portraits and transgendered werewolves doing the Robot.

He has a waiting list of 30 to 45 minutes, during which time he’s not actually working on other clients, but rather watching old episodes of ThunderCats that he has on Betamax while having a bowl of Easy Mac. They say that patience is its own reward, but I think that the above picture suggests otherwise.

Looks like this lucky little man is wearing a bowtie. That’s how you know he’s classy.

Photo thanks to Bully Tech

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

I love breakfast more than anything else in the world, so I can hardly fault someone for getting it tattooed right on top of his head. But if you’re going to bother with the fork, why not go all the way and include all the elements of a balanced breakfast? Like a glass of O.J., a plate of sourdough toast, a side of bacon, and a six-pack of Miller High Life.

What? You wouldn’t want to drink anything heavier. It’s breakfast.

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Whoever did this tattoo obviously started at the top and then lost interest about halfway through. “Damn, who knew this would take so long? I’m getting kinda bored. I’m just gonna draw this chick’s body real quick, hide her hands behind something, aaaaannndd DONE.”

Speaking as someone with a short attention span, I completely understand. I mean, sometimes just writing these posts is… um… wait. What were we talking about? You know what? Forget it. Here’s a picture of a squirrel sexually harassing a cat:

Source: Daily Squee

Submitted by: random via Submission Page

Dang. I’ve mocked tattoos for looking like Lisa Frank school supplies before, but this one really takes the rainbow cake. I want to open up this woman’s back, stash my book report on Ishi: Last of His Tribe inside, and then scribble “I ♥ Doogie Howser” on the back about two hundred times.

Happy 2010 you guys! Did you make any resolutions for the new year? Like maybe…

Ink Spotter: Adrianne

…to stop smoking? To NEVER stop smoking?

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

…to be a better Christian? Or perhaps you’ve added a few (say…seven) things to your bucket list?

Ink Spotter: Kevin H

Me? I’m going to stop carrying the world on my shoulders. And while we’re making clichéd resolutions, I’m also going to think outside the box, treat others as I would like them to treat me, turn the other cheek, and…

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

You know, this isn’t so bad. I do think it’s kind of a tool-bag move to get a tattoo of one’s own name, but not nearly so much as, say…this:

Source: Fun-zor

I mean really, if you’re going to take it this far, why not go all the way and get your entire lower half tattooed to look like Nantucket reds, hm old sport?

Ink Spotter: Emma

You know, sometimes the jokes just write themselves. Like, literally.

Ink Spotter: Nacho B

You’ve got to hand it to a guy for making the best of a bad situation. I mean, one time I burned my hand while making crème brûlée. And yet it never occurred to me to turn the scar into a tattoo of a four-ounce ceramic ramekin. Which would have been totally hardcore. Right?